SilverFoxWise

Derrick Coyle

I must admit to being somewhat of a social media novice. A relatively fresh recruit in the world of keystroke confabulation and real-time rantings. It wasn’t that long ago, in fact, I scoffed at the very notion of Facebook. Silly concept, I thought. What could possibly be the appeal of a forum for idle and frivolous chatter? Baring soul and sharing life events and information with virtual strangers? Twitter sounded more like a tag of derision one would prefer not be directed at them. And LinkedIn had the vague ring of a brand of automobile once favoured by grandparents.

Though I am still much more a disquisitive dabbler than a passionate practitioner, I have been sufficiently immersed to recognize – with some amusement – the trademarks of more zealous members of the fraternity. I call this advanced level of participant, the “Social Mediac”. As a helpful guide to self-diagnosis – and in the general interest of public service – I present for your review and consideration a list of 20 Signs You May Be a Social Mediac:

1. You’ve been known to excuse yourself from a meeting with the phrase – “BRB”
2. You think expanding your library of emoticons is a form of sensitivity training
3. You have an irrepressible compulsion to post play-by-play personal updates
4. Your children add #hashtags to denote key items on their Christmas list
5. You can’t remember the last time you bought a postage stamp
6. You understand a ‘traffic jam’ to be slow system response time
7. You’ve had cold sweat nightmares of a small, flashing red light – just out of reach
8. You’ve uttered “lol” – in person – as an alternative to actually laughing
9. You characterize people with fewer than 100 Facebook friends as ‘loners’
10. You understand a ‘landline’ to be what pilots aim for on runways
11. You’re not quite sure how you’re feeling until you find a suitable emoticon
12. You teach someone a lesson by withholding ‘Likes’
13. You discovered your children covertly opened second Facebook accounts
14. You can’t resist re-sharing a post that promises lifetime misery – if you don’t
15. You’ve been asked ‘what’s wrong?’ to a text closed with one less heart than usual
16. You don’t sleep well unless you have your mobile under the covers with you
17. You can’t distinguish between a phantom vibration and a real one
18. You prefer multiple layovers to a lengthy direct flight
19. You feel being asked to turn off your cell is a freedom of speech impingement
20. You honestly believe there is a final level to “Candy Crush”

*************************

I have to confess – as a late entrant and modest user – I’ve definitely warmed up to social media in recent months. Facebook is a nice way to keep in touch with friends and family – near and far. To fraternize with established groups of like interest or common experience. Twitter connects the masses with a platform to either listen from the sidelines, or pontificate (albeit briefly) on issues of interest – with friends, strangers and even ego-bloated celebrities. LinkedIn is a useful professional network that provides new opportunity to find or be found. To track or promulgate career developments.

I’m sure I will continue to explore and participate in the wonders of social media in this new age of communication. But, for the love of God – please give me a good shake if you ever spot me with thumb tip cut-outs on my winter mitts!   🙂

*************************