Archive for Mid-life

Trick or Treat!

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Carved by Erin and Dave – Photo by Erin Coyle

It seems there’s a period, between the children leaving the nest and the arrival of grandchildren, when the luster of the Halloween tradition can fade a little. In the child-free period, there is a tendency for a parental role, once robust, to become more passive and perfunctory. There is a risk of becoming a front-door spectator and candy dispenser, rather than an active participant. The planning, decisions, and activities once eagerly anticipated and carried out as part of the annual family ritual, have changed somewhat.

I look back fondly on the early October mission to find the perfect pumpkin, among the vendor’s misshapen offerings. The kids around the kitchen table, gingerly scooping the tangled mess of pumpkin innards, and carefully marking up the glossy surface for dad’s carving of the hollowed orb. I remember the selection process for the kids’ costumes, and the delicate negotiations to balance their lofty creative visions, with the practical and affordable. There was inevitably the parental coin toss to settle roles for door, or road duty. I have clear memories of the excitement of costumed children as friendly neighbours feigned horror, or gushed with admiration at the costumes of triumphant little visitors. And the beaming faces of gratitude from the children as a special treat was tossed into their outstretched loot bags.

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All this got me thinking a little, about some of the differences between the Halloween’s of today, and those of my childhood days growing up on a side-street in east-end Toronto.

Back in the 60’s, pumpkin carving amounted to little more than cutting out two triangle eyes, an inverted triangle nose, and a toothy-grinned half-moon mouth. Variety was found in the upward or downward arching of the mouth to reflect the degree of scare sought for a particular year. The fancier models would include a couple of tooth-pick mounted ears. The tools of the trade were a ball-point pen for marking, and the sharpest paring knife to be found in the cutlery drawer. The completed work was prominently displayed on the front porch or step, and brightly lit with teetering candles, the toppling of which would at times shoot flames from its various orifices.

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Carving and photo by Jessica Hale

Today, there are elaborate stencils and precision instruments, not unlike those found in hospitals, that guide the carver in the creation of pumpkinian masterpieces. There are wireless LED lighting inserts that brightly and safely illuminate, while accentuating the craftsmanship and intricacies of the design.

Costumes, back in my day, were limited only by one’s imagination – and the materials, old clothing, and make-up to be found in the household. The collection vessel of choice was a large ‘Shoppers World’ bag or a pillow case. The latter also formed the basis of many costumes seen about the neighbourhood.

Available today, are full-head masks of uncanny accuracy and impressive ghoulishness. There are designer costumes of traditional and contemporary figures and creatures. More Halloween costumes are bought than hand crafted today, it seems. And, for what is perhaps a more sensitive parental generation than their 60’s counterparts – to things like peer pressure, self-esteem, and personal development – a raised bar for parents to achieve at least costume parity with the neighbourhood kids.

In my childhood days, there was very little in the way of parental accompaniment or supervision when it came to trick-or-treating. Pretty much, if you were old enough to keep up with an older sibling and carry a pillow case – with one barked directive to “watch for cars and mind your manners” – you were ready to head out into the dark, on a door-to-door candy collecting mission.

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Carved by Jakob and James – Photo by Deb Polgrain

Today the streets seem to be occupied by nearly as many parents as children. Along with chaperoning and safeguarding their charges, the night offers something of a social occasion for neighbourhood parents to enjoy. Or, a window to catch up on e-mails and exchange texts on the hand held.

Back in the lean, mean days for east-end kids of the 60’s, there was one driving objective to the Halloween sortie: To accumulate as much product as humanly possible. There was usually a secondary to collect cash donations for the school-sponsored UNICEF drive. Success in either category required strategy and agility in order to reach as many fertile addresses as possible, before inventories, cash, or interest waned. The more deftly one could weave through pedestrian traffic, the more doors could be covered. There was a kind of underground reconnaissance system, in those days, where word of specific homeowners or stores dispensing big-ticket items or cash, or those that garnered disappointing results, could be heard bellowed gratuitously in the streets.

Chocolate bars then, were full-sized and a highly sought after handout. Bags of chips were always received well, but the weight load of canned, no-name soft drinks, was disproportionate to its value. Apples were abundant in those days, but very low on the priority scale. In our competitive household, the evening’s work culminated in the siblings counting and sorting their respective hauls to determine the year’s victor – And then divvying it up evenly among the five.

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Carving and photo by Mathew Gagne

Today, the road experience appears much more organized, efficient, safe, and civilized. Younger children, free-running or tethered, don’t stray far from the parents on dark and crowded streets. They visit or by-pass doors in accordance with household pre-qualifications. Parents are always within range to ensure the departing “thank you” is not forgotten. Children are dressed in bright, reflective, fire-retardant costumes, with some carrying glow accessories to keep them visible. Older children may use hand held technology to hook up with friends, or to text tips on worthwhile stops. Specially designed Halloween bags or jack-o-lanterns are used for the collection of tim-bit sized candy rations, specially formulated for the occasion. Apples are almost unheard of and are usually tossed if they show up in the child’s haul.

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Reflecting back on the childhood and parental experiences I’ve had over the years with this curious tradition of pumpkins, costumes, and door-to-door tricks or treats, I’ve come to appreciate the excitement and vicarious thrill that comes from the uniqueness and energy of Halloween. The advance preparation and the night itself is an opportunity to bring family and friends together. It’s a chance to enjoy the excitement of the young ones carving pumpkins and proudly donning costumes. To teach lessons about manners and sharing. And, of course, to engage in the friendly competition of pumpkin carving or costume design supremacy.

For this empty nester, there’s a pumpkin to be lit and big night of door duty to prepare for.

Happy Halloween!

 

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