Derrick Coyle
About a week ago, I joined a Facebook group called, “Born in the 50`s, grew up in the 60`s, loved the 70`s“. As a 1957 baby, with good memories of growing up in the era it targets, I was intrigued when the option to join popped up on my page after a Facebook friend had become a member. With some newfound time on my hands since retiring last spring, I signed up to see what it was all about.
This group has close to 5,000 members from various parts of the world, and as I soon learned, has a very active following. There is a regular feed of memory-provoking photos and mini-surveys posted by members. The surveys are relevant to the generation and often draw hundreds of responses, in a matter of hours. Here are some examples from the past few days:
- What was the first “45” record you bought?
- Where were you when JFK was killed?
- What was your favourite Elvis movie?
- What was the first car you owned?
- What was your favourite Motown artist / song?
- Who was your favourite cartoon character of the era?
While these questions may carry limited weight with our children, from what I have seen so far, the discussion topics are nostalgic and fun for those of us who can relate. The site appeals to a large group of boomers that grew up together and enjoy sharing memories from interesting times.
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It’s from this context that I found a question, put to the group yesterday by a fellow named Joseph, both surprising and socially interesting.
Joseph posted this question / comment:
Hi, are gay people welcome here? – 🙁 Feeling sad.
Within 12 hours of the post, Joseph had accumulated 56 “likes” and 142 comments on the site. With me being new to this group – and given the demographic it represents – I was very interested to see what kind of response the question would generate.
My own thoughts were: How strange and irrelevant the very question seemed to be in these times. How was it possible that, on the basis of being gay, he would think he might be unwelcome to join a discussion site of this sort? Of any sort for that matter? Twenty or thirty years ago, maybe the question wouldn’t have seemed so odd. But in 2013?
I started wondering whether the social acceptance in circles I’ve travelled was reflective of the bigger picture. Or, was I just in an isolated pocket, sheltered from the real world? A mere illusion of a mature and tolerant society? After all, observations from my infinitesimal space and perspective in a straight world, may bear absolutely no resemblance to the realities of the LGBT community.
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Responses came quickly from group members – male, female, straight, gay. Here’s a sample:
– Jody from New York: “why wouldn’t they be…welcome to the group Joseph :-)”
– Jeffrey from Pennsylvania: You’re definitely NOT alone…
– Pat from New Brunswick: “I’m feeling sad that you feel you have to ask :-(“
– Bill from New Mexico: “I for one do not care what you are Joseph. This page is for fun remembering the good old days, not what you do in your personal life”
– Rob from Australia: “G’Day Mate, 2 Important questions…….are you a good bloke? do you have a sense of humour? If the answers are yes, I cant see you having much in the way of problems, only been in the group a couple of days and everyone seems to be good people. Cheers”
– Rebecca from Florida: “Joseph, we can’t fix the intolerance and judgmental people in this world, but we can welcome you to ours! You will find love and fun here. I’ve loved the trips down memory lane and want you to enjoy it, too!”
– Roy from Oklahoma: “People are people. I don’t give a rat’s butt if you are gay/black/white/green/Jew or gentile. As long as you are a good person, thats all that should matter to anyone”
– Debra from Ohio: “why would joseph even ask that question,we dont care about his personal life, we will welcome here just like anyone else”
– Sandy from Nevada: “Welcome Joseph and dont even let it be a thought.that you wouldnt be welcome here. That is insane dear. We ALL bleed red and we are all ONE. Bless you Joseph”
– Andy from California let a poster do the talking: 
In the thread of comments, Joseph explained he had joined a similar site and was “booted off” when a member learned he was gay and reported him to “Admin.” He also said – about half way through the flood of comments – “Feeling better already HUGS”
The comments from the group go on, and on. Many with a short but emphatic welcome. Many, surprised that the question even had to be asked. Virtually all the comments were supportive and welcoming. It was an overwhelmingly united and heart-warming response.
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I came away from the exchange with a couple of thoughts:
First, the fact it was difficult for so many of us to believe that sexuality was in any way relevant – or could have even factored into the discussion – suggests to me that as a generation, we have made considerable progress from the attitudes of years’ past. It’s not perfect. But, it sure seems better.
Secondly, I was impressed with this group’s mandate, the content, and the light and pleasant interaction among members, in the first week since joining this group – I like it even more now.
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I too, recently joined this group, for many of the same reasons. It has been a wonderful trip down memory lane and some of the posts have really made me laugh. (Which we all need to do more.)When I read Joseph’s post, I was both surprised and sadened that someone would find it necessary to ask that question. Live and let live!
Agree Arlene. It’s amazing how good our memories can be for trivia from many decades ago.
Thank you Derrick. I am an admin of this group and I am touched with the accolade you gave us. We are a diverse group. It was originally started in the UK and I was one of the first members from the United States to join. They welcomed me with open arms, and that practice on non-discrimination has, and will, continue. Again thank you. Rose – Admin – Born in the 50`s, grew up in the 60`s, loved the 70`s
Thanks very much Rose. It seems to have grown very nicely in North America. It’s a great group!
I HAD JUST JOINED THE GROUP A TAD BIT BEFORE HE POSTED..IT THRU ME FOR A LOOP TOO..IT AMAZES ME THIS STUFF IS STILL HAPPENS..Altho I joined Out and Proud in Alababma..I did ask them if it was ok if I was not gay..guess it works both ways
Good point, Susanne.
Nice read and so true derek!… I’ve been on the group for some time and I was shocked and saddened that he asked too…. Who would know or care what sexuality any of us are?… We are all enjoying the memories and fun of a group of people bonded by our similar likes and dislikes no matter what part of the world we come from.
Sometimes it’s great not to feel like we are outsmarted by younger generations or feel like our old memories sound old..lol…hope you enjoy the group as so many others do.
Thanks Mary. I find our best equalizer with the younger generation is when they mistake a new song release for an original and can’t figure out how we know all the words.
Yep, saw that. Anything I might’ve said was covered very nicely by others, so didn’t post, but I felt the same thing about Joseph the others did. There are a lot of hateful people online, but thankfully, there seem to not be many in our little group. It’s just good folks there, and I would hope anyone for whom the group is relevant would feel safe and welcome. I’m looking forward to interacting with Joseph (and you, too, SFW) for some time to come.
Thanks Mark. Likewise.
I’m not “Gay’ but I have several friends that are. They are just like everyone else. Just like me, they like to party, go out to dinners, take vacations, keep a clean house etc, etc. The only differences is what goes on in the bedroom and that is private, theirs and ours. My best friend is gay, and she has always been like a sister to me.
Thanks Robert. I agree, acceptance is when it doesn’t even register as a difference.
what kind of article is this
Hi Britney. It’s one about individuality and respect.
I’m “the” Jeffrey from Pennsylvania quoted above … I elected to “out” myself because if I’m unwelcomed in a group because of my sexual lifestyle, I’d surely like to know because any group promoting bigotry or bullying against *any* lifestyle, race, gender, religion, body size is not the place that I want to be. I will always support the Serenity Prayer to “accept the things I cannot change, change the things that I can, and have the wisdom to know the difference.”
Thanks for your perspective, Jeffrey. From what I have seen, the administration and membership of this group is in full agreement.
I was removed from this group that it being written about for defeating another person’s religious comment. I am a christian with strong views about anything or anyone that would hurt any ones belief or lifestyle. I support my daughter’s being gay, because I love her and that is really what God is all about “LOVE”
Interesting for sure! We’ve come a long way but have a longer way to go! Well written by the way!
Thanks Vince, great point. I suspect also that progress may vary considerably at regional and community levels.
I saw the comment as well and didn’t respond. The reason that I didn’t respond was because I just didn’t understand the relevance of the question. What difference does it make? I’m proud that I have always treated everyone the same. I could care less if someone is gay, straight, black, white, Asian, Hispanic, American, European, male, female, Etc. I also could care less if someone is rich or poor as far as how I am going to treat them. I was amazed a while back when a female friend of mine, who happens to be a Deacon in the church, told me that she thought that people should stick with their own class and not associate with others. Quite simply, if someone is a good person and treats others with fairness, respect and goodness, they can be my friend.
Well said, Jerry. That it’s become an irrelevant question, for so many, is a good thing.
The world has changed a great deal since we of the baby boomer era were kids…and we changed it! Groups such as this are a wonderful way to mingle with our peers and to enjoy who we’ve become together. Thank you for such a heartwarming story.
Appreciate your comments, Sharida. I agree, we boomers have influenced and seen incredible change in our lifetimes. This discussion group provides lots of evidence we’ve come through it all pretty well.