SilverFoxWise

Derrick Coyle

The title of this post may seem a little ambiguous. Depending on inflection, Managing Manipulation could be a story about manipulative managers or it could be a story about how one can cope with manipulation, generally. As it turns out, this story is about both.

I spent close to 30 years of a 35-year insurance career in some form of supervisory or management role. The number of people I was responsible for overseeing peaked at 52, with a high of 16 in a direct reporting relationship. In hindsight, I would assess myself as having been a good manager, not a great one. From a corporate point of view, my area of accountability generated better than average business results over the course of my tenure. In fact, it was quite likely the most successful regional unit among the nine of its kind, over that period. Though I am proud to have played a role in guiding and motivating the team towards that success, the greatest credit belongs to the many talented people I was fortunate to have on the team.

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In the clarity that comes with 10 months of retirement, if I had it to do again, I’d do a better job of organizing priorities to prevent other responsibilities from usurping time ‘on the floor.’ There is much to be gained from regular interaction with the people who get the work done every day. Out of feedback I received from my direct reports in a staff survey, I did exactly that in the year before retiring. Not only did I personally enjoy the experience of more frequent and less formal interaction, I came to appreciate the motivational and operational value of it. The feedback I received from my team overwhelmingly validated the changed approach.

As a long-term, single-company employee, most of my management training came through in-house programs, vetted outside consultants, specifically recommended reading, and mentoring from experienced incumbents. All training consisted of mainstream management concepts. Styles differed between managers, but the fundamentals of honesty, fairness, and respect, underpinned the initiatives for employee development, job enrichment, motivation, recognition, and the ultimate achievement of business objectives.

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In doing some project research recently, I discovered a more Machiavellian approach to human interrelations and the management of people. I was astounded to learn of the popularity of a 1998 book written by Robert Greene, called 48 Laws of Power. Referred to in some circles as a ‘psychopath’s bible,’ the book enthusiastically promotes a strategy of duplicity and manipulation. Advantage over the unsuspecting – in business and personal relationships – is gained by mastering the art of indirection, and learning to seduce, charm, and deceive people so they become pawns to the manipulator. Business, and life itself, is a power game, with the object of the game being to exploit, as necessary, and tilt the balance of power in your own favour. I found the concepts in acute contrast to the honesty, fairness, and respect approach I grew up with.

Here’s a brief summary of the ten ‘laws’ I found the most alarming as I read through the material. A fuller description of all 48 can be found at this link: 48 Laws of Power.

#3 – Keep others off-balance by withholding your intentions. By the time they figure out what you’re up to, it’s too late to prevent it.

#7 – Get others to do the work, but be sure to take the credit.

#11 – Maintain a power position by withholding enough knowledge, authority, or support to keep people dependent on you.

#12 – Use token honesty to provide cover for your dishonesty. Give a gift or reward to break down a person’s defences and set them up for future deception and manipulation.

#14 – Feign friendship and lull people into a false sense of security so you can uncover their intentions and exploit their vulnerabilities.

#17 – Strive to be unpredictable in order to intimidate and keep others off balance.

#33 – Find out a persons personal weaknesses, insecurities, or needs so you can use the knowledge against them and to your own advantage.

#39 – Contrive to anger your opponents and rattle them into impulse reaction that creates advantage for you.

#42 – Isolate or banish adversaries to make an example of them and intimidate their would-be supporters.

#43 – Work on an individual’s psychology, weaknesses, emotions, and fears to seduce them into loyalty.

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If you’re seeing the 48 laws for the first time, you may find yourself progressing, as I did,  through a few different reactions:

1) Horrified that people could be consciously practicing such deception at your expense.

2) Acknowledgement that some of these behaviours are rooted in human nature and demonstrated from early ages. e.g. Siblings competing for a parent’s affection. The manipulation and cruelty of kids in friendship triangles. The mini-battles of persuasion between parents and children.

3) Recognition that this interpersonal pattern may be consistent with the conduct of people in your own employment or personal circles.

Greene noted in The Guardian interview, that most of the emails he receives are from readers who used his book to understand and outwit manipulative people. Pushed as to whether he has inadvertently created ‘a few scoundrels?’ Greene conceded, “There are people on the borderline and maybe the book helps them to move into that sociopathic realm, so then I feel bad.”

In employment hierarchies, these laws could be actively practiced in any direction – up, down, or sideways. I suspect there are very few who could look through the list and claim to not recognize similar behavioural examples in their own histories. But, there is a big difference between isolated events – or actions under extenuating circumstances – and the methodical planning and insidious practice of insincerity and deception as an offensive strategy.

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So why draw attention to these practices if I don’t endorse them? This is useful information for honest, trusting people to identify serial manipulators, should they exist in their world. In so doing, the prey will have a fighting chance to avoid traps laid. It may also enlighten management layers – upon which victims of such exploitation depend – so they might recognize practitioners of the torment. There would be greater potential for damage if practiced by those in a position of authority in an organization. Awareness may prevent the vulnerable – in one direction of the hierarchy – from being exploited, and the distracted or gullible at the other end – from being duped. The reason for a post on this topic is reflected nicely in the words of the author himself in his response to an on-line Q&A query:

Q – “I struggle with the morals behind using techniques and manipulations to manouevre others … What are your thoughts on the moral complexities of manipulating others for your own gains?”

A – “I have no problems with your dilemma and your personal qualms. I think the purpose of the book for you should be to simply make you aware of how others might behave or manipulate you and how you can protect yourself better …”

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With worldwide sales of this bestselling book in the millions of copies, it’s not too much of a leap to conclude that its teachings will be in use, by some, to systematically uncover and exploit the weaknesses and vulnerabilities of others. This post is for the benefit of those who go about their business under the belief that ‘honesty is the best policy,’ whose default is to trust people, and who live by the tenet, ‘do the right thing.’

We have a far better chance of defending ourselves when we recognize the threat.

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